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Getting Spanked, and Cared For

MICHELE NORRIS, host:

Youth Radio's Brandon McFarland has a story of crime and punishment, his own.

BRANDON McFARLAND:

Think of your deepest, darkest fear. Maybe it's lying in a tub of rats or getting jumped or being caught on Jaws' territory. Me? I'm scared of leather. I was eight years old when I got my first whoopin'. I remember waiting outside my dad's room as he browsed through the massive belt collection hanging on his closet door. I kept wishing I could rewind to whatever I did and just stop doing it, but it was too late.

My dad grabbed this black leather belt with the gold buckle. `Come in here and close the door.' I was terrified. I wanted to run, but I braced myself and did what I was told. Afterwards my dad told me, `It hurts me more than it hurts you.' But how could he possibly know the pain in my five-alarm butt cheeks? I was mad that night, but I knew it was cause and effect. I couldn't stay angry at my dad for giving me the punishment I deserved. At the same time some part of me still couldn't understand why Pops had to go to the extreme like that.

Now when I'm at the mall with my mom and we see kids going nuts, we say that's a shame. Their parents should do something. I mean, you ever watch these kids? They throw fits, kicking and screaming for no reason. It might seem a bit sadistic, but if we see a little black kid running around and yelling, we follow them and just wait for the mom to snatch them up and spank them. The flip side is those white mothers who try to hold a conversation with their semi-lunatic child. It just seems like a waste of breath and time.

For a lot of black kids, getting whoopings is the norm. My friends and I even used to compare horror stories and compete over who got it the worst like, `My dad body-slammed me,' or, `Mine made me go outside and pick the switch to beat me with.' It's a point of pride to have parents that involved. To us, if your mom didn't bother to whoop you, it showed she didn't care. I knew a lot of moms who were too consumed with their own lives to take the time for discipline, and their kids ran the streets. But if parents put the fear of the belt in you as a child, I think you're less likely to end up on probation or parole as an adult. I always knew my family loved me. Sure, I never liked getting a whoopin', but it worked. I've grown to be a responsible, respectful young man.

NORRIS: Brandon McFarland comes to us by way of Youth Radio.

ROBERT SIEGEL (Host): This is NPR, National Public Radio. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

Brandon McFarland

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SOMOS CONNECTICUT is an initiative from Connecticut Public, the state’s local NPR and PBS station, to elevate Latino stories and expand programming that uplifts and informs our Latino communities. Visit CTPublic.org/latino for more stories and resources. For updates, sign up for the SOMOS CONNECTICUT newsletter at ctpublic.org/newsletters.

SOMOS CONNECTICUT es una iniciativa de Connecticut Public, la emisora local de NPR y PBS del estado, que busca elevar nuestras historias latinas y expandir programación que alza y informa nuestras comunidades latinas locales. Visita CTPublic.org/latino para más reportajes y recursos. Para noticias, suscríbase a nuestro boletín informativo en ctpublic.org/newsletters.

The independent journalism and non-commercial programming you rely on every day is in danger.

If you’re reading this, you believe in trusted journalism and in learning without paywalls. You value access to educational content kids love and enriching cultural programming.

Now all of that is at risk.

Federal funding for public media is under threat and if it goes, the impact to our communities will be devastating.

Together, we can defend it. It’s time to protect what matters.

Your voice has protected public media before. Now, it’s needed again. Learn how you can protect the news and programming you depend on.