ANDREW LIMBONG, HOST:
Got any friends who you've been meaning to catch up with but it never happens? Or are you feeling burnt out on your phone and longing for a more intimate way of keeping in touch? Why not write a letter? Marielle Segarra from NPR's Life Kit has some tips on how to get started.
MARIELLE SEGARRA, BYLINE: There's something special about the relationship you develop with a pen pal. Rachel Syme is a prolific letter writer, and she says these connections are divorced from time and expectation in this really refreshing way.
RACHEL SYME: Like, my friends - I'm in group chats with them, text with them. They're constantly available. I'm constantly available. We're pinging each other all the time. The thing about the people that I write letters to is that, I mean, it's like the slow cooker of friendship, you know? I'll write a letter to them. Maybe it'll arrive at their house, you know, given the vagaries of the postal system, in two weeks. They'll read it, and I know that it will be read intentionally.
SEGARRA: Syme is a writer for The New Yorker and author of the guidebook "Syme's Letter Writer." And she says the first step, if you're letter curious, is to write some letters. You can reach out to friends or family or old acquaintances and float the idea.
SYME: You know, say, I'm interested in writing more. I'm trying to get more intentional about my writing. I think one way to really sell it to people is say, I'm trying to do less being on my Instagram at 2 in the morning and instead hanging out with my fountain pen and do more sort of purposeful, slow communication with the people that I care about, and I would love you to be the recipient of this attention.
SEGARRA: You could also tell them you just got some cool stationery and you want to take it for a spin. Another idea is to send a letter to someone who's made a difference in your life - your third grade teacher or that person who showed you kindness in a moment you really needed it. If you want to write to strangers, there are programs you can sign up for, or you could send some fan mail. Now, a letter can be about anything you want. Some writing prompts from Syme's book - make your own Mad Libs, take Polaroids of your life for a week and drop them in an envelope with a message on the back of each one, or draw a map of a stroll you often take through your neighborhood with pinpoints and descriptions of your favorite memories in each place. Another option available to you - the love letter. You can write those to a lover, obviously, or to a friend.
SYME: I think what it has to be about is an act of noticing, an act of sharing certain specific details about the person. You have to think of yourself as a poet a little bit. Like, what am I singing a song of about this person? And sometimes it can be, like, the smallest things that you notice, you know? It can be, like, a freckle. It can be a day that you were together and they said something, and it's always stuck with you.
SEGARRA: Once you've written your letter, embellish the heck out of it. Slap on some stickers or tuck some tiny flat treasures into the envelope, like prewrapped tea bags, ticket stubs, ornate wine labels, vintage photographs, iron-on patches. And keep in mind, you might write someone a letter and they might not write you back, or maybe your pen pal relationship will fizzle out over time. Syme says, that's OK.
SYME: It's OK. It wasn't meant to be. I think in general, you should practice kind of, like, radical kindness in this letter-writing game because the truth is, it's really - it's a hobby. It's something that people should be doing for fun, for connection, for delight. If it's not delighting you, then why do it?
SEGARRA: All right, our last tip is to come up with a signature sign-off, one that is uniquely and unmistakably yours. Syme likes to say, see you in the mailbox. I'm still working on mine. But for now, let's go with, yours truly, Marielle Segarra, NPR News.
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LIMBONG: And for more Life Kit, go to npr.org/lifekit.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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