Just 16 days after a long, bitter, and contentious presidential election ended, families come together for Thanksgiving.
Regardless of the outcome, it became clear early on that this year's festivities might be more charged than in past years. In October, WNPR's Where We Live focused on family dynamics that have been strained by politics.
Dr. Laura Saunders, licensed psychologist at Hartford Hospital's Institute of Living had some tips about managing relationships when politics clash.
1. Agree to disagree. “I think, in any of these situations, you want to have strategies to resolve conflicts. And sometimes that strategy is agreeing to disagree… We have to agree to disagree and kind of put things aside. You can communicate your feelings assertively, but not blame people and become aggressive.”
2. Take a political litmus test. “Family relationships we don’t have as much choice there. We are related to who we are related to. But romantic relationships and friendships have a sense of choice, so sometimes there’s litmus tests. It’s like the old Seinfeld episode where Elaine had a litmus test for her boyfriends, whether or not they were pro-life or pro-choice. And she couldn’t get past a certain point in the relationship without dealing with that litmus test question…[Political views are] kind of a big deal and it often shapes a lot of other views and values.”
3. Accept and respect individual opinions. “Opinions are not always going to be the same as ours… It’s not trying to force compliance on someone else. I can hold my point of view and I can hold my point of view really strongly, but that’s different than trying to force compliance on someone else. We can find areas of common agreement.”
4. Find common ground and learn to negotiate. “In general, in a relationship, you’re going to have many values in common. So that’s what you want to stay focused on. It’s not reasonable that you would agree on every single topic, so it is learning to find ways to resolve conflicts and negotiate some of those differences in your values.”
5. Be civil. “We can communicate our feelings, we can accept and respect individual differences. Not everyone will agree with us. It is important to hear other perspectives and other points of view, but it happens best in a way that is civil and respectful.”
