AYESHA RASCOE, HOST:
It's easy to get swept up in the holiday swirl of to-dos and social obligations. And amid the rush, we may find joy can easily turn into stress. NPR's Allison Aubrey joins us now to discuss some tips to stay grounded and keep your calm. Welcome to the program, Allison.
ALLISON AUBREY, BYLINE: Hi there, Ayesha. It's great to be here.
RASCOE: Lots of us - we look forward to family gatherings at the holidays. But they also can be really stressful, right?
AUBREY: Absolutely. I think the holidays can bring kind of a perfect storm of triggers. You know, returning to a childhood setting can stir up or kind of activate all the emotional patterns. And there's also the combination of, you know, high expectations, disruptive routines, alcohol, exhaustion, travel and, for some people, unresolved conflicts that can surface. So it can create a rather emotionally charged atmosphere.
RASCOE: So what would you suggest if someone has, like, holiday anxiety?
AUBREY: Sure. Well, one thing I learned when I led NPR's Stress Less challenge last year is how helpful it can be to walk away, to take a short break if you're in an intense emotional situation. So if you find the temperature rising, try to quietly step away and try something called the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety. It's recommended by lots of counselors and therapists, so let me walk you through it really quickly. You start by simply noticing and naming three things you see - you know, the tree, the skies, your hands. Then three things you hear or feel - the wind, the ground, like, a bird chirp or, you know, even your own breath. And then gently move three parts of your body, so tap your toes or bend your neck or wiggle a finger. Now, placing your attention on all these external things can pull you away from your worries to the immediacy of what's around you. And as you do this, as you kind of touch what's real, it can have a calming effect and can help kind of break that spiral of anxious thoughts.
RASCOE: In addition to family, you know, it's also a time of merrymaking, right? You know?
AUBREY: Absolutely.
RASCOE: Do you have any advice for those who want to, you know, balance the cookies and the cocktails with their healthy habits?
AUBREY: Sure. Now, first of all, I do not want to be Scrooge here. I mean, there is nothing wrong with enjoying holiday treats. But if you know you have a tendency to overdo it with food or drink or staying out too late, there are some things you can try. I like this strategy - to kind of find a buddy. Could be a friend, a partner, your spouse - someone who you are on the same page with who can hold you accountable. So say we're talking about alcohol over the course of the evening or the day. You may agree you don't want to consume more than, you know, two drinks. So you can help each other pace and remind each other to alternate between water and a drink to kind of slow each other down. There's lots of apps to help moderate as well. One is called Sunnyside. They can help you find community support and send you daily reminders or nudges to try to help you moderate.
RASCOE: So what if you end up overdoing it and you feel guilty?
AUBREY: If you're feeling down on yourself, it is a perfect moment to use a skill known as positive reappraisal. So, yeah, maybe you overindulged, but it could have been worse. And on the plus side, maybe you spent time with family and friends. So positive reappraisal is all about actively seeking the silver lining rather than letting kind of negative emotions take over. And the evidence shows that this can lead to less anxiety, more positive feelings - and tomorrow is a new day. You can do better tomorrow.
RASCOE: That's Allison Aubrey, food and health correspondent for NPR News. Thank you so much.
AUBREY: Thank you, Ayesha. Great to be here.
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