(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
A MARTÍNEZ, HOST:
It's Friday, which means it's time for StoryCorps. Today, a conversation recorded inside a Brooklyn, New York, funeral home. It's owned by Doris Amen, who's been in the business for nearly half a century. She spoke with her friend and fellow funeral director Alexandra Mosca about what's kept them at it for so long.
DORIS AMEN: When we were children, we never thought that we would go into this profession. It was the furthest thing from our minds.
ALEXANDRA MOSCA: We didn't bury Barbie dolls...
AMEN: No, we didn't.
MOSCA: ...In shoeboxes...
AMEN: No.
MOSCA: ...As some people may think. I was discouraged every step of the way. My first boss said to me, who will hire you? You're a woman.
AMEN: We entered a man's business. You never see, in a movie, a funeral director that's a woman.
MOSCA: And there was a physical aspect to this, of course.
AMEN: Absolutely. You would have to lug the casket and the body up a three-story walk-up. But if they say it can't be done, I'll prove to you it can be done.
MOSCA: Exactly, which is one of the other things we have in common...
AMEN: Oh, yeah (laughter).
MOSCA: ...Turning a no into a yes. Another one of the things that I believe you and I really share is to leave a family with an image of the person looking as they remember them looking.
AMEN: It's called the closure moment, so that they don't remember that horrid scene...
MOSCA: That horrible - yeah.
AMEN: ...At the ICU.
MOSCA: Yes.
AMEN: And some of them have said to me they want a closed casket. And I say, just take a peek and let me know.
MOSCA: Yes.
AMEN: And they'll say, how the heck did you pull this off?
MOSCA: Yeah.
AMEN: And my answer usually is, I do my face every morning. I had a lot of practice.
MOSCA: (Laughter).
AMEN: But when it comes to my own demise, do I want an open casket? I don't know.
MOSCA: Well...
AMEN: Do you want an open casket?
MOSCA: Well, now, that's an interesting question, because I advocate for open casket. But sometimes I think, well, I can see someone coming and going, she looks OK. Hair's a little messy. Always was. I don't know.
(LAUGHTER)
MOSCA: A lot of times, people will say to me, aren't you jaded by now? I said, never. You never get used to it.
AMEN: How many times? I'll be shedding a...
MOSCA: Yeah, you'll cry with that.
AMEN: ...Tear going up the aisle.
MOSCA: That's right. You'll - yes.
AMEN: As soon as I hear the organ music...
MOSCA: Absolutely.
AMEN: ...That's it for me.
MOSCA: Yes.
AMEN: And I don't have a problem hiding the tears.
MOSCA: Yes.
AMEN: If I drop dead tomorrow (laughter)...
MOSCA: God forbid...
AMEN: ...This place is not going to be big enough...
MOSCA: For the people who are coming.
AMEN: ...For the people - yeah. Because the thank-yous that I get after the services makes me realize that it was my niche, and I found it. And here we are today, sitting in my funeral home, the building that I've owned for 36 years. Sometimes, I see it from a distance, and I just look and say, that baby's mine. And I'm here until I close my eyes and they drag me up to the cemetery.
(SOUNDBITE OF OTTO SIEBEN'S "SOFT HARPSICHORD")
MARTÍNEZ: Doris Amen and Alexandra Mosca for StoryCorps in Brooklyn. Their interview is archived at the Library of Congress.
(SOUNDBITE OF OTTO SIEBEN'S "SOFT HARPSICHORD") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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