While a new school year can bring excitement, it can also mean a wave of anxiety and stress as students get back into the classroom. Here are some tips from experts on how to make the transition easier.
Let students set reasonable goals
Horacho Koyame, a licensed therapist in Manchester who works with both kids and teens, said going back to school can bring up a lot of anxiety and expectations students may put on themselves or feel from their family.
“‘They have this idea for the type of student, but also the type of child I'm supposed to be,’” Koyame said. “So [they] don't want to let the family down, don't [want to] let themselves down, and also don't want the teachers down as well.”
Koyame recommends letting kids set goals for how they want the first week of school to go, let alone the rest of the year.
“Whatever it is, ‘I want to talk to more friends. I want to be more social,’ right? Or it's, ‘I want to improve on my grades since last year,’” he said.
Koyame said he also works to help students be their authentic selves. For example, if a kid has the goal to be outspoken, Koyame said helps them set a goal to learn to advocate for themselves.
Get into an effective sleep routine
One transition that can be hard for students is going to sleep so they can wake up on time for school.
Koyame said teens may want to stay up late so they can crash the following day to adjust when they start feeling tired for bed, but he said that’s not always the best method.
“With these things, we look at, ‘what was your normal routine?’” Koyame said.
He suggested students look at their normal school routine from last year, and start mimicking those bedtimes heading into the first week of school. He also suggested reducing screen time, and cutting off electronics two hours before bed, and doing slower activities before bedtime.
“I told them, like color slowly,” Koyame said. “That repetition allows them to actually slow down and everything. So even though their brain is active, they're also realizing…what it feels like to be calm or what it feels like to just be present in that moment.”
Koyame also suggested kids try meditation.
Reduce the number of things to do on the first day
Susan Stearns, executive director of NAMI New Hampshire, had an easy suggestion to help mitigate added stress: take first day pictures the day before school starts.
“So that you're not adding to that busy morning,” Stearns said.
Stearns said having back-up plans for breakfast, like a protein bar, can help when the morning is going slow. Stearns also encouraged parents to engage kids and teens on what they want their morning to look like, and how to make it happen.
“Kids don't have a lot of control in life and if there's a place that you can give them some control — so maybe they really want to wear a particular pair of sneakers — well, probably helpful if you've had that conversation the day before or for you to know ahead of time,” Stearns said.
Spotting signs of stress
Stearns said children can be moody when they’re not adjusted well with stress and school, including when they have more challenging assignments, or are dealing with issues outside of school.
“Withdrawing from activities or people that they normally want to engage with and having poor self-care or increasing risky behaviors – those are, certainly, signs of hopelessness, feeling overwhelmed or worthless,” Stearns said. “That's where, you know, parents want to reach out for help.”
Stearns said she recommends parents get to know their student’s school counselor.
“Maybe you're not going to have to have a lot of connection with them through the school year, but it's great to know them and know who they are so that if you do need some help, you have someone to connect with,” Stearns said.
How to handle bullying
Koyame said the new school year can reintroduce anxiety and stress around bullying.
If a child faced a bully in the past year, Koyame said they’re likely to have to deal with the same issue again this year.
But he finds there’s an extra layer of stress for kids when they’re getting bullied – whether or not students feel the situation is being handled.
“It's so social dependent,” Koyame said. He said some students think the best way to handle bullying is to stand up for themselves. “And for some of them, it's more of like, ‘I get in trouble if I speak, if I stand up for myself.’”
Koyame recommends teachers, staff and adults set rules for how bullying behavior is handled. He also said it is important to make sure kids who are engaging in bullying behavior understand both what they’re doing that requires correction, and the consequences. He said that ensures they are being held accountable, but not punished if they didn’t realize they were doing something wrong in the first place.
“When they feel comfortable with knowing what the rules are, they feel comfortable with talking about it. Koyame said.
Stearns said parents who suspect their kid is being bullied or struggling with friends at school should tell school leadership. Stearns recommends checking in with guidance counselors and using the New Hampshire Children’s System of Care and naminh.org for resources.
