Editor's note: Find resources for caregivers of loved ones with dementia at the bottom of this story.
Charlotte Schwartz, 88, has been married to her husband for 63 years, and, up until recently, was his full-time caretaker. She had been caring for him for the past five years, mostly by herself. Her husband was diagnosed with dementia and mood disorders, so she helped him with his diabetic and pancreatic medication, and with daily tasks like eating, bathing, and going to the bathroom.
“I'm just an unpaid, unrecognized home general public caregiver,” Schwartz said with a laugh.
Charlotte is one of over 57,000 caregivers in New Hampshire, which is the second oldest state in the nation. By 2030, over one-third of New Hampshire’s population will be over 65, and the rates of Alzheimer’s disease and dementia are rising.
Schwartz has a sense of humor, but she’s also in a period of transition, and grieving. Her husband only recently moved out of their home and into a full-time care facility.
For caregivers like Schwartz, personal joys can go by the wayside, and it's not always intentional. A lifelong runner, she stopped running as much while she took care of her husband. The work was taxing, but also a labor of love, because without her support, her husband could have been on his own while his cognition declined.
That's where someone like Katie Brandt comes in. She’s the director of Care Support Services at the Frontotemporal Disorders Unit at Massachusetts General Hospital, where she helps caregivers find the emotional and logistical support they need.
“There’s a whole community of families, individuals, caregivers who’ve walked this journey before you,” she said. “They’re walking it today, and they’re waiting to provide you with that connection for support that people desperately need.”
Brandt has personal experience herself. She lost her mother and became a caretaker for her father with Alzheimer’s, and her husband was diagnosed with young-onset dementia while their child was an infant.
“I was unprepared for all of it, totally unprepared,” she said. “And I did not realize how all consuming caregiving is.”
For many people, Brandt said, coming into caregiving is subtle, rather than planned. For example, you notice your mom hasn’t paid the electric bill and the lights are off.
“So you start to help and then you realize the help is not enough,” Brandt said. “They need more than just a grocery shop once a week, a ride to a dental appointment. So then you start to think about ‘Where is this person going to live?’”
Brandt said caregivers also end up being patient advocates, making medical and planning decisions for their loved one.
As those tasks add up, Brandt said caregivers start to miss their own appointments, abandon hobbies, and spend less time with friends.
The program Brandt oversees at Massachusetts General Hospital connects caregivers of patients with dementia around Massachusetts and New Hampshire to financial planners and elder family lawyers.
Brandt recommends an elderly family lawyer, like one found through the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, who can be critical for filling out paperwork, and can assist with communication with physicians and making medical decisions.
Brandt also recommends therapy and support groups.
Some people are not keen on the idea of joining a support group, Brandt said.
“I had one husband caregiver, he said to me, ‘I'm not going to sit in a circle and talk about my feelings,’” Brandt said. She runs the largest frontal temporal dementia caregiver support group in the country through Massachusetts General Hospital. “Sometimes we do talk about feelings, but a lot of times we're talking about real logistics, like nuts and bolts of caregiving.”
For example, Brandt said one member of the support group sought advice for a loved one who was wetting the bed every night. It created extra laundry during the day, a loss of sleep, and concern over their loved one’s skin and health.
“Multiple caregivers gave tips on buying specific products, how to make the bed with, like, a double layer on the bottom, and that caregiver came back two weeks later and said it worked.” Brandt said. “Their loved one was able to sleep through the night. They didn't have as much laundry to do. It was like making their whole day easier.”
For Charlotte Schwartz, one of the biggest caregiving challenges was realizing how much her husband has changed.
“If you take your loved one somewhere, say a reception or a wedding or even a funeral — we go to a lot of those at our age — people walk up to them and go, ‘Remember me?’ You can't say that to them,” Schwartz said. “It kind of makes them try to remember and it's exhausting and confusing for them.”
Schwartz joined a support group run by a person who would eventually become her caregiving mentor, who provides coaching for memory care. It cost $40 per session, but Schwartz’s insurance covered it.
There are programs like the one at Massachusetts General Hospital in New Hampshire, including Dartmouth Health's Aging Resource Center, which Schwartz also used. The program offers caregiving workshops, peer support groups, exercise and travel programs, for free. They served over 1200 participants from July 2025 to June 2026, including caregivers from out of state like California and Colorado, through virtual programs.
Schwartz said her mentor helped her realize her husband’s behavior and capabilities were changing, and he wasn’t the same person she fell in love with. And as Schwartz physically lost her ability to take care of her husband full time, her mentor helped her research and vet the senior home where he’s been living for the past few months.
Schwartz is still adjusting to life without being his caretaker.
“He traveled a lot so I was accustomed to being by myself and being independent about it,” Schwartz said. “However, once the time that he traveled was past, now I'm missing him because he's not coming back home.”
Schwartz's husband said he missed her and he didn’t want to be living in a care facility.
“But he had enough understanding to know that I couldn't take care of him,” Schwartz said.
Schwartz was looking for therapy herself to help her grieve with the process. She was on a waitlist for a year to get placed with a therapist who is a senior specialist at Dartmouth Health’s Aging Resource Center.
Schwartz also started working her way back up to her active lifestyle.
At her apartment complex for seniors, she leads a group of women who want to get fit.
“I've got about 20 ladies that work out with me now and we've become kind of a sisterhood,” Schwartz said. “They feel so empowered because now they're not aching, and they can get in and out of their cars. They can pick up grocery bags and reach high and, you know, go up and down the stairs. So it's that kind of feedback I'm getting, which is very gratifying to me.”
She’s also looking forward to getting back to hiking and snowshoeing outside her son’s home in Plymouth. She said a secret to aging is being able to roll with change and staying active.
Need caregiving support? These local resources can help.
Dartmouth Health Aging Resource Center: Offers free programs and services, like caregiver education classes, support groups, and advanced care planning to New Hampshire and Vermont families.
Community Caregivers of Derry: Provides free in-home tidying and “handyman” services, transportation assistance, and loans out medical supplies like wheel chairs and bath seats to New Hampshire and Massachusetts families.
Seacoast Mental Health Center: Offers free short-term counseling, technical assistance, and educational programs to New Hampshire residents over 60-years-old and their caregivers.
Lorenzo’s House: Provides free virtual support for families navigating younger-onset dementia, (before age 65).
National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys: Provides a database of lawyers trained to handle aging or disability-related legal issues like estate planning, long-term care, guardianship, and elder abuse.
Massachusetts General Hospital FTD: Offers individual and group support for caregivers of people with frontal temporal dementias, connecting persons with a diagnosis and caregivers to community resources.
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