Thirteen-year-old Esmeraida Figueroa said the first time she remembers smiling with her teeth is when she went to the circus with her mentor, Rebeca Carrasquillo.
“When I grew up, like I've always been called gordita, because I was the chubby one out of my family, or when I'm smiling with my teeth, they used to say, ‘Oh my gosh, your teeth are so crooked,’” Figueroa said. “So growing up, I stopped smiling with my teeth.”
Figueroa said Carrasquillo taught her to feel pretty and to be confident with others, to the point where she said she smiled when they took a picture with a performer on stilts.
“I was almost crying,” Figueroa said. “I was like, this is the first time I'm smiling with my teeth. I never felt this happy before.”
Big Brothers Big Sisters of Connecticut (BBBS of CT) matched the Puerto Rican pair. The organization is looking for more Hispanic volunteers to better serve the Spanish-speaking families seeking mentorship.
“I 100% encourage Latinos, Hispanic families to come be a mentor,” Carrasquillo said, “because there are a lot of ‘Littles’ [mentees] out there who could benefit from having a positive mentor that shows them about culture, identity, and values.”
Their shared heritage is one of the many ways in which they bond, Carrasquillo said.
“Becoming a full person of your culture is super important,” she said, “and here's an opportunity to help someone do that.”
Sports, desserts, and Puerto Rico
Unlike most of her family who grew up in Puerto Rico, Figueroa was born and raised in Massachusetts.
“My mom, she was struggling a lot,” Figueroa said. “She couldn't really raise me and my brother, ‘cause I have four brothers, so it was a lot to raise.”
Figueroa called her upbringing “chaotic”. It also built a wall between her and the Spanish language because of how Spanish was spoken in the home, Figueroa said.
“My family used to do that when they didn't want me to understand. They would say pero (but), and then they [would] talk fast Spanish,” Figueroa said. “I didn't understand because I was still beginner Spanish. It used to annoy me so much.”
When challenges at home worsened, Figueroa said she ended up moving in with her aunt in Connecticut. Figueroa’s aunt started looking for extracurricular activities for her, she said. Her aunt ended up finding an ad for BBBS of CT.
The first match wasn’t the right fit, though. Figueroa said her first mentor lived too far away and Figueroa struggled to connect with her. Little did Figueroa know, Carrasquillo was having a similar issue.
Carrasquillo was born on a farm in Puerto Rico. Her family moved to Massachusetts when she was about eight years old. She moved to Connecticut to continue her studies in social work and made her life there.
Carrasquillo said she was always curious about mentoring because she has a passion for working with kids and wanted a way to give back to the community.
One day, Carrasquillo said a coworker of hers recommended BBBS of CT. Hearing her experiences as a mentor was just what Carrasquillo needed.
However, Carrasquillo had a first match that also didn’t work out. Carrasquillo said the mentee lived too far away which made scheduling get-togethers difficult.
Both Carrasquillo and Figueroa decided to try again. For them, the second time was the charm.
“I thought she was so cute,” Carrasquillo said about her first meeting with Figueroa over Zoom. “Immediately, I was like, ‘Oh, this is gonna work out.’”
For the past three years, the pair have enjoyed many activities together, ranging from UConn and Yard Goats games to pottery and restaurant outings, where they always get dessert.
“The moment it clicked for me was when my kids said, ‘Esme’s our little sister,'” Carrasquillo said, referring to her two teenage sons.
Being called a sister wasn’t something Figueroa said she heard too often from her brothers. “The first time [Carrasquillo] told me they called me their sister,” Figueroa said, “I went home crying happy tears.”
‘You sound so Puerto Rican.’ ‘And we are.’
Figueroa and Carrasquillo speak Spanglish on their outings. They engage with Latino communities, like the non-profit fitness group Latinas in Motion in Connecticut. Carrasquillo also helps Figueroa with her curly hair, which Figueroa said she struggled with in the past.
“We specifically have a lot of families who are Hispanic, and so there is a need for people who speak Spanish,” said Shasity Rios, the vice president of programs at BBBS of CT.
The nonprofit serves nearly 360 Hispanic-identifying kids, according to Rios. However, only about 95 active mentors identify as Hispanic.
“That difference is pretty important,” Rios said, “because it shows that the diversity of our volunteer pool does not yet fully reflect the diversity of the young people and the families participating in our programs.”
Just this past year, 26% of youth requesting a mentor are from Hispanic families, according to Rios. Meanwhile, 11% of mentor applicants identified as Hispanic.
Parents or guardians often ask for Hispanic mentors to help their youth speak Spanish or to connect with their Latino culture, Rios said. It can also provide a sense of comfort.
“Sometimes it is a little bit more comfortable for our kids to get familiar with someone who understands them and their background,” Rios said, “especially when we're talking about some of the cultural differences.”
However, Rios said Hispanic mentors are not needed for the sake of matching them with Hispanic youth. Matching Bigs [mentors] and Littles [mentees] goes far beyond demographics. Rios said a more diverse pool of mentors allows BBBS of CT to meet any family’s needs.
“Recruiting more Hispanic Bigs helps us close a gap that gives our staff more options for considering the interests, personality, locations, family preferences, the language, the culture, and experiences for any young person,” she said.
Carrasquillo said she and Figueroa have cultivated a strong bond that is rooted in an important Puerto Rican value.
“It’s the value of personalismo. Like, I care for you. I care for your family,” Carrasquillo said. “We started as mentors and mentees who have become a family.”
A family that Figueroa said has helped her not only better manage her anxiety and boost her confidence, but also find a place in the Latino community.
“I feel like having that mentor helps you not only with your mental health, but helps you connect with the community around you,” Figueroa said.
Figueroa now says ‘pero’ (but) with her friends, despite how her family used to say it when they would speak ‘fast Spanish’ around her. Figueroa said her peers sometimes call her out for how she speaks.
“I have a friend that I say her full name when I’m mad at her,” Figueroa said, “and she says, ‘You sound so Puerto Rican.’”
“And we are,” Carrasquillo immediately responded, sharing a laugh with Figueroa. “Thank you.”
